Why is it OK?

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By Eunice Back

For all my life I have been raised in a predominantly white community. From my first moment in school it was pointed out to me that I was different. It seems as if I was raised on another planet. What I knew to be “regular food” was now “smelly and gross” and my style was now “ugly and asian” . The definition of fitting in has been defined for me, it has been taught me that fitting in is forming to what is “socially acceptable”. Socially acceptable as in whatever is is okay with the majority. It never resonated with me that there was more than being just humans. I have had the privilege of not being profiled by the color of my skin but what makes my culture special. 

For many years I believed I had to get in front of the crowd. I believed I had to be the first to bully others, make the Asian jokes, and I felt obligated to be the token Asian. I would make fun of my own race before anyone else could. I would bash my own people, and wish the color of my skin was different. I wanted to be white and part of the majority. I hated my mom for giving birth to me in this body and I hated how I looked for so long until something happened in my life to shake my world. 

I grew up and now looking back at myself  in elementary school, I wonder why was it okay? Why was it so easy for me to turn my back on my own people, and hate on the color of my own skin. Why is it socially acceptable to normalize racism as a 6 year old. There is a lack of education starting from kindergarten, and  there is no standard outside of the classroom that equity is not a question but a statement. I lacked support when I was younger and I did not know how to be myself. It was a journey to find the beauty behind my culture and the history behind the color of my skin.

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A History Undiscovered

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Mental Health and A Close Friend