Mental Health and A Close Friend

Image Drawn by Laia Tang

By Laia Tang

What is one of the experiences that I have around mental health? 

One of the experiences is related to a friend of mine. A while ago, they told me that they were self-harming and having suicidal thoughts. I wasn’t sure exactly how to respond. What do you say when one of your close friends, that you’ve known for a few years, tells you they want to die? We talked for a long time that day. I remember asking them when it started. If they had told anyone else. They told me they started several months ago and that’s why they started wearing long sleeves all the time. We went to the same school at the time, and I wished I noticed. I read about the signs to look for, but I never realized it. My friend told me that they talked about it with one of our other friends, but not anyone else. I asked if they planned on telling their mom. They weren’t sure. I remember reassuring them by telling them that their mom would care and want to help them. There were articles I read about what would be helpful to say to someone who was considering suicide, to tell the person that you’ll be there for them. To contact you if they ever wanted to talk. I told my friend that I would be there for them. No matter what. That I cared about them.

Around a month or two later, they told their mom. They stayed in the hospital for a week afterwards. And eventually went to therapy. This was a period of time where I felt the most worried I’d ever been. My friend who I’ve known for a couple years, could disappear from my life. I felt afraid of what the future could bring. We called each other and talked often. What else could I do, besides being there for them? I couldn’t take their pain away. Couldn’t fix it.

It hurts to know that one of your friends thinks that death might be better than being alive. All you can do is be there for them, a shoulder to learn on. I felt guilt. That I was oblivious to these signs. They were silently suffering and I wasn’t aware of their pain. Was I a bad friend? For not even noticing? I knew before that they suffered from issues with self-esteem. But not to this degree.

I’m so thankful that they told me. I know they told me because they trust me. I’m glad, especially because there are times when I’ve wondered. What would have happened if they didn’t ever tell me? Would they have been gone before I could do anything? Would they not be alive today? I’m scared to even think about that kind of reality. Who would I be if that happened?

Be kind to everyone. You don’t know what they could be going through. If you want to be an amazing friend, be there for them. Not only during the fun times, but during the dark ones too. Listen to them and let them know that they can lean on you. It’s painful to lose a friend. Whether it’s because you lost contact or they died. Let them know it’s okay to ask for help. 

Thank you for reading!

Signing off,

Laia Tang